Sat, 06 Sep 2008

TXS vs DJB - Round One!

vs

That's DJB on the left and TXS on the right. I've never seen either of them in the same room at the same time, so there is still a chance they are the same entity. Maybe TXS is out teachng classes, writing software, or doing other academic things when he should be sleeping or maybe DJB is out having TXS' life while he should be sleeping. This could all be one big real life Fight Club scenario (without the fighting). The world may never solve the mystery that is TXS vs DJB.

If you're in the insanely small population that has not seen Fight Club or read the book, then I'm sorry I ruined it for you. Maybe you should get with the modern era if you're going to continue to read my drivel.

I dug that picture of DJB out from archive.org.

posted at: 15:05 | tags: | path: /entries/humor | permanent link to this entry

Mon, 12 Nov 2007

Best. Cat. Name. Ever.

My friend Nuzz on what to name one of his new cats. He recently got two of them. The female he named Zelda, and doesn't want to name the other one Link or Gannon. We've been throwing around names for a week or so now. Tonight he suggested Wicket - like the Ewok. My fiancee and I both like that name, but he came up with this gem... 

20:50 <@wxs> name him wicket
20:50 <@wxs> that's an awesome name
20:51 <@nuzz> kitty');DROP TABLE Names;
20:51 <@nuzz> pwned
20:51 <@wxs> haha
20:51 <@nuzz> do you think vets will sanitize user input?
20:51 <@nuzz> he is the destroyer
Yes, it's a reference to XKCD. He did forget the comment at the end though.

posted at: 20:52 | tags: | path: /entries/humor | permanent link to this entry

Wed, 20 Jun 2007

Funny Mario Video

It's probably a custom level being played in an emulator but the audio is the funniest part. Be careful of the swearing if there are children around.

posted at: 21:44 | tags: | path: /entries/humor | permanent link to this entry

Wed, 25 Apr 2007

jive(1) Humor.

The following is the jive(1) manual page, in all it's funny glory.

SYNOPSIS

       jive

DESCRIPTION

       jive  is  a program that will take text that was written in English and
       turn it into jive (aka Jive).   jive  reads  from  standard  input  and
       writes to standard output.

DOJIGGER

       JIBE - Convert honky talk text into Ebonics

SINOPSIS

       JIBE

DESCRIPSHUN

       JIBE  be  some  honky  code  dat gots'ta snatch text dat wuz written in
       honky talk and turn it into JIBE (aka Ebonics).	JIBE reads  fum  stan-
       dard input and scribbles t'standard output.

BUGS

       So funny you could die laughing.

AUTHOR

       The Unknown Racist Hacker <president@whitehouse.gov>

       De Unknode Racist Hacka' <super-dude@honkyhouse.gov>



Version 1.1			3 February 1997 		       JIVE(1)
Man(1) output converted with man2html

posted at: 12:58 | tags: | path: /entries/humor | permanent link to this entry

Fri, 29 Dec 2006

Funny Shirt Messages

Here is the list of things you can read on a shirt in nethack. These were taken from src/read.c and based on the comment there the credit goes to Scott Bigham, HHGTTG (awesome books, OK movie), Ranma 1/2 (no clue what that is), and Animaniacs (I am more of a Pinky and The Brain fan, but whatever). 

I explored the Dungeons of Doom and all I got was this lousy T-shirt!
Is that Mjollnir in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
It's not the size of your sword, it's how #enhance'd you are with it.
Madame Elvira's House O' Succubi Lifetime Customer
Madame Elvira's House O' Succubi Employee of the Month
Ludios Vault Guards Do It In Small, Dark Rooms
Yendor Military Soldiers Do It In Large Groups
I survived Yendor Military Boot Camp
Ludios Accounting School Intra-Mural Lacrosse Team
Oracle(TM) Fountains 10th Annual Wet T-Shirt Contest
Hey, black dragon!  Disintegrate THIS!
I'm With Stupid -->
Don't blame me, I voted for Izchak!
Don't Panic
Furinkan High School Athletic Dept.
Hel-LOOO, Nurse!

posted at: 23:18 | tags: , | path: /entries/nethack | permanent link to this entry

Wed, 06 Dec 2006

The Second Best Spam Message Received To Date

Spammers are now using Subject: lines of "<foo> check this." (among others) where <foo> is the first name of the person in the From: line. I think I just received the best combination yet. 

From: Jesus Diggs 
To: wxs@csh.rit.edu
Subject: Jesus check this.

The best subject I ever received in a spam was "If it moves - touch it!" which I should have submitted to spamusement.

posted at: 14:53 | tags: , | path: /entries/humor | permanent link to this entry

Thu, 26 Oct 2006

Ideas for a Nethack Clown Class?

I've been joking with Jordan lately that nethack needs a clown class. I've started to put my ideas down in writing and would appreciate any ideas that people want to add to the list. This is just a preliminary shot at getting things out of my head and down onto paper disk. You can find the updated copy here. 

This is just a draft, I'd appreciate input...

Nethack needs a new class: Clown.

Ranks:
Mime
Street Clown
Rodeo Clown
Circus Clown

Starting Items:
Flower which shoots water (kind of like a rust trap).
A bow-tie.
Red and white plaid shirt
Suspenders.
Oversized pants.
Giant shoes, cause you to be permanently fumbling.
  - Removing the shoes causes key attributes to lower.
50 creme pies.
A bottle of seltzer water.
Rubber chicken.

Starting Pet:
Elephant (an insanely powerful pet to offset the weak player).

Quest:
Somehow involve The Three Stooges.

Interesting Ideas:
Some type (what exactly?) of special abilities if your name is "Bozo."
Ability to juggle rocks causing shop keepers to give you money (#juggle).
  - Can have a chance at failing, causing something somewhat bad to happen.
  - Repeated uses of this causes diminishing returns to the point where
    the shopkeeper will get bored and become hostile.
Able to mount the elephant. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clown#Skills)
Can temporarily tame lions (though with low success rates).

posted at: 12:42 | tags: , | path: /entries/nethack | permanent link to this entry

Mon, 21 Aug 2006

Some of the best geek humor ever!

I've probably linked to various pieces before but go read RouterGod. There are some priceless gems in there, like Don King explains IP Extended Access Lists or Arnold Schwarzenegger on PIX Turbo Access Lists!

posted at: 13:29 | tags: | path: /entries/humor | permanent link to this entry

Wed, 14 Jun 2006

EEEEEEEVVVVVVEEEEEEELLLLLL!

While poking around the ports tree looking for something I stumbled across EvilFinder. Turns out it's main website is here. However, entering "Wesley Shields" into it is not that interesting, though I am apparently evil.

posted at: 09:34 | tags: , | path: /entries/humor | permanent link to this entry

Thu, 27 Apr 2006

Using Linux means you support terroism?

If you ever want to get a good laugh out of one political nut-job I'd highly suggest this article.

I wonder if anyone has told Tristan that IBM laptops are now made in China, and that using them means you are "opening yourself up to Chinese hackers."

It's things like this that make me glad I learned a long time ago that anything to extreme is a bad thing. Wow, just wow.

posted at: 11:35 | tags: , | path: /entries/humor | permanent link to this entry